So I'm sitting here watching something on Netflix called "Ken Davis: Fully Alive" ...where this christian guy shares about how, at 65, he finally feels 'fully alive' and yet wonders why he waited so long to feel this way!
When he said the words "life is not a waiting room for death" something stirred inside of me. I thought about all those days I spent on the couch, all those hours I spent scouring Facebook instead of playing with my toddler... getting 'up to date'... on what? I'm not really sure... perhaps I thought I was going to miss something important, or maybe I thought if I scrolled far enough on my home page I would find something earth-shatteringly eye-opening that would change everything for me... give me 'perspective' or wake me up.
True 'perspective' actually came from taking a break from Facebook, over 5 days ago now...
It has been amazing how that temptation to check up on my 'notifications' & scroll through my homepage has been like what I can only imagine it's like for a recovering crack addict to go through the beginning stages of detox from their drug of choice! ...or closer to home, what it felt like to give up pop for 3 weeks!!!
Distractions can sometimes be our drug of choice...
Lately I find myself going through my days not sure what to do with all the time I suddenly have... which is actually a bit frustrating because I oftentimes consider myself incredibly ill-equipped to come up with entertaining, educational, meaningful things to do with my daughter besides what we do all the time... watch tv, read books, snuggle, eat, & repeat! So, out of a desire to come up with fun things to do together, I have re-discovered... wait for it... Pinterest : )
Now, lest you fear this is me replacing one time-waster for another (these were my husband's exact words when I mentioned this new discovery, actually) rest assured that the time I spend on there actually is for inspiration... and happens when Sarah isn't home or is asleep... but I have been so encouraged! I have been looking up craft ideas, vacation ideas, lists and lists of things I must do with my toddler while she's this little... on and on and on!! There are recipes, healthy living support, family photo ideas... I am LOVING this and totally get how this 'searching for living life to the fullest tips' can be so exciting!!! I feel like it has been waking me up to how much fun we could be having instead of just going through the motions everyday!
The difficult thing about Pinterest is that it's very easy for me to feel like a bad mother reading about all these crafty super-moms that seem to know how to do EVERYTHING! How dare I attempt such grandeur in the midst of an 'ordinary' life!!! I figure I could get caught up in all that I can't or don't do at this point in my life OR I could tuck away a few fun tips here and there, integrate them where I can, and just enjoy life. every. single. day. I am given on this earth.
I want to spend my days laughing with my family, giving/receiving hugs and kisses, playing, adventuring, discovering, learning, & loving side-by-side for as long as possible! I don't want to waste hours every single day on distractions or being completely exhausted & resting on the couch in the morning while my daughter begs me to join her on the floor to play... I don't want to reach the end of my life and realize I just barely made it! I want to march into Heaven's gates proclaiming 'Praise God, here I am!! I lived my life, I ran the race, I did my best!'
If I were given time to ponder my life on my deathbed someday, I can guarantee you I will NOT be wishing I had spent more time on Facebook or making money or playing with my phone or going out on the town or staying up late thinking only of myself while my husband and child got my ragged leftovers... my family deserves better... I deserve better... YOU deserve better. Take time today to thank God for the many blessings He has given you - don't just say 'thanks for everything' - tell Him what, specifically, you are thankful for today... then ACT like you are truly grateful for the time you are given on this earth to live life fully alive.
Actually, why don't we both make a list right now... make a list from 1 to 10 and at the top write "Today I am thankful for:" ....and fill in the blanks! Hang that list somewhere you will see it and read it as often as possible, but at LEAST every morning or whenever you're having a 'whoa is me' moment. If you are just REALLY down in the dumps & can't think of anything to be thankful for, I'll show you my list that I'm just going to whip up on the fly to help you get some ideas or, my new favorite word, some 'perspective' on how good we really have it ; )
Today I am thankful for:
- Another day to live as best I can
- A family that loves me whom I can't wait to spend time with
- Food in my kitchen to eat that will fuel my body
- A home to keep us safe & make memories in
- Pets to entertain me & snuggle with
- A church we can grow from & support
- Opportunities to be a blessing to someone
- The great outdoors just on the other side of my front door to enjoy
- Thousands of precious photos, videos, & memories of life thus far
- A God who loves me so much He died for me, so that I might fully live
"Lord I ask that you would help us to wake up, to rise up, to give thanks, to use these bodies, our very lives, glorifying You with all we say and do... especially understanding and appreciating the ability we have to love & to give of our time & abilities to others - not lifting ourselves, but bringing our own selfish desires low so that we may see all the beauty you've put around us. May we live this day, our entire lives, fully alive." Amen
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
2 Timothy 4:7
P.S. I would encourage you, if possible, to view this Ken Davis video (there is also a book with the same title I believe). He shares about his life, his struggles, not fitting in as a teen - he wasn't a jock, he excelled at speech, was bullied, letting himself go as he got older, made fun of, was told he would never amount to anything, experienced just coasting along with his faith... He moved past fear, He decided to make changes, He decided to live. He is actually a christian comedian & I hear clips of his talks on the radio now and then so it was fun to see him through an entire message! I had no idea this would also encourage me to not give up pursuing a healthy lifestyle, but God always knows what we need : ) Great point: Discipline = Where you decide to do the work to live. Being able to have discipline in one area of life positively impacted many more areas of his life. I laughed, I cried, I grew.... so worth it : ) Blessings